Update on August Family Retreat

I have been so blessed by everyone who has donated to help me volunteer at the Joni and Friends Family Retreat in August. I found out today that I have been completely paid for, and there is some extra money in my account that I have okayed to go to a scholarship fund to help other families and volunteers in need.

Thank you once again for your generous support! 

College: Year One

Only a year ago my world was limited to the rural New England town I grew up in. At this time last year I was filled with wonder, excitement, and most importantly, anxiety about my upcoming trip to the Adirondack mountains. LaVida is not the beginning of my story, and it’s not the end, it’s not even the climax, but it is the beginning of a new chapter.

My story begins in small-town Vermont and New Hampshire, surrounded by Christian family members – extended and immediate – and Christian friends from my private Christian elementary and high school and from my non-denominational Church. I grew up in the Connecticut River Valley, on the Vermont side of the river in a small town called Windsor, the same town my mom grew up in and only thirty minutes south of the New Hampshire town my dad grew up in. I’m a real hometown girl, born and raised in the Green Mountains.

My story doesn’t really change much until a year ago when I was led to Gordon College and made the uncharacteristic decision to spend thirteen days in the New York wilderness with a bunch of strangers. Fear of the unknown plagued my every waking thought the summer before this excursion, and every day I thought that perhaps I should just do Discovery, the (*cough*lame*cough*) LaVida alternative. But the day came to leave home, a day that would only be the diving board for a year filled with unknowns that would lead to a life filled with unknowns – a life of extreme faith and trust that God will lead me to it and through it and be there on the other side.

I can’t imagine a more fitting start to the new chapter in my life. LaVida, as the popular saying goes around campus, was the best experience I’ll never do again. But as difficult as some moments were, God really used those two weeks to introduce me to a stronger, more independent person – the me He was helping me become.

Once on campus, one of the first experiences I had with the AJ Gordon Honors Program was a whole-group meeting where we discussed the findings of our Strengths Quest test results. Before being introduced to this leader-building community, I hadn’t thought that I necessarily had the qualities to be a leader. I’m a rather quiet person (most of the time), I don’t like big groups, and I most certainly don’t like everybody’s attention on me. When I first heard my top five strengths (according to this test), I basically filed them away thinking I would never look at them again. I’ll be quite honest – I didn’t look at or even think about the results of my Strengths Quest test for several months, until I had to pull them back out to write this narrative. As I’ve reflected on them over the summer, I’ve been able to both focus in on how I can use these gifts in a specific way that most honors God and see the big picture of the global impact of my life.

My strengths (according to the test) were (in this order): Achiever, Harmony, Discipline, Learner, and Consistency. My first year at Gordon was mostly consumed with figuring out who I am and how I can best use my specific gifts to make a lifelong impact on this world, even though I didn’t always think of my gifts in those specific terms.

Now that I’ve had some time to digest the past year, I can see how God worked through all the struggles that college brings. When I first got home this summer, my mind was consumed with the ways I’d messed up – the friendships I may have ruined, the ways I neglected my relationship with God, the people I could’ve helped but didn’t, the times I chose late nights with friends over much-needed sleep and study. I couldn’t help but think what a failure and waste of time my first year of college was and what I would do differently if I could go back and start all over. I even thought about giving myself a fresh start at a new school, but I felt that God had called me to Gordon and He’d allowed me to make those mistakes so that I would learn from them and gain wisdom.

Now that I’ve had time away from school, I’m able to analyze last year with fresh eyes – yes, I made some friendships that I regret, and I may not have always used my time wisely – but if I look in between the obvious lines, past the glaring failures, I can see how God was and is carving me into a stronger person.

One of the most defining moments of my freshman year was the realization that the major I’d been set on for a good year and a half was not necessarily the one for me. Now I can see the correlation between the results of my Strengths Quest test and my decision to switch to a more fitting major, but at the time all I knew was that I wasn’t happy and I didn’t see myself being happy with the future I was headed towards. Deciding to give up Music Education for a more abstract career in Music Therapy (or really who-knows-what) was a hard decision to make. I’ve always been a planner – I don’t like leaving anything to chance. If I can have control over something in my life, I would choose that over taking a risk. At least, that’s who I used to be. I don’t even know how or why I got to this place, but I decided I would rather pursue something I really love right now and not have as clear a picture of my future than choose the safer route and have a [basically] guaranteed job when I get out of college that I’m less than content with.

Exploring my options with the Pike Program helped me really think for myself and create a major around what I love and who I am rather than trying to fit myself into a pre-made mold (even though I opted for not pursuing a Pike major). At the heart of this all was not just trying to choose a major, but trying to figure out who I’ve become and trying to hone my God-given strengths to the best of my ability.

I can’t say I necessarily know where I’ll be five years from now. I can’t say that I’ll stay a double major in Music and Psychology (at this point I’d like to, but that could change). I can’t say that I have a solid idea of what I want to do with my life, but I think I’m at the right place right now. I know that where God has me today is where He wants me; but this might not be where He wants me to stay. One of the strengths that my Strengths Quest test did not reveal is adaptability, and I think that’s because it’s something I’ve developed more over the past year – it’s my newest super power. The ability to be flexible and trust my future to God (without losing sight of the big dreams I do have!) has helped me live out one of our LaVida mottos – “Be Here Now.”

This all sounds pretty idealistic and rather vague, but through people in my life (my parents, the girls I lived with in my dorm, friends and family from home, employers and coworkers, professors and mentors at school) God has led me to some insights into my strengths and my specific areas of interest. I’ve learned that a leader isn’t always someone who leads a big group of people or who plans campus-wide events. A leader can be someone – like me – who works well one-on-one with people, especially people who the rest of society has overlooked or forgotten about, most notably the elderly and disabled. A leader can be someone who quietly but confidently stands up for what she believes, even in the face of strong resistance. A leader can be someone who works hard in the background.

As with most teens and young adults, I often think about my identity. Who am I, really, and what makes me who I am? My first year of college was an unconscious search to discover myself. I tried to find my identity in other people, in the friendships and relationships I built throughout the year. But when those didn’t live up to my expectations, where could I turn to find my identity? I had, if you will, an identity crisis. Was I to be defined by an online profile, the friends I had, the major I pursued, the church I went to, the state I was from? I still grapple with these questions daily, but one of the most important lessons I learned and something I cling to each and every day is that my identity is in Christ. Galatians 2:20 and John 3:30 are verses that have become much more real to me as I try to figure out not just who I am but who I want to be.

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

John 3:30 “He must increase; but I must decrease.”

As someone who is constantly analyzing her life, I’m still sorting through the life-changing year that I wrapped up only a few short months ago. I’m still trying to find the silver lining in the occasional storm cloud. I’m still figuring out how I ought to I live in light of everything I learned last year. Most importantly, though, I still trust each day into God’s hands, because as much as I need to seek practical wisdom for living out each day, ultimately my story has been and continues to be written by Him. It’s easy for me to get discouraged about the ways I have messed up in the past, even though they’re not very drastic to most people. Although I often wish I could go back and change things to avoid mistakes, I know that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I wasn’t the person I was yesterday. So as painful as certain things in my life have been, as difficult as certain lessons have been to learn, I know that God will use all things for good.

Three Weeks Away!

In three weeks I'll be leaving home for a week to work as a volunteer (a "Short Term Missionary" - STM) at the Joni and Friends New England Family Retreat in Greenfield, NH. Yesterday, on our weekly Sunday drive, my family drove to Greenfield to get a look at the conference center and to get me a little more familiar with the drive. I'm very much a "let's take the highway all the way" kind of girl, so I wasn't thrilled about the middle-of-nowhere back roads over New Hampshire mountains. But it was a beautiful drive, and the facilities look really beautiful - right on a lake! When we drove in there was a camp going on, so we awkwardly had to find our way back out amid a group of over-friendly teens waving hello and directing us to parking. But in only three weeks I'll be going for real, and actually parking and getting out of the car. I was hoping to snap some pictures, but I didn't want to make our adventure any more awkward (did I mention there was someone in a moose costume to greet us?).

As I continue to prepare for my week at the camp, I'm filled with a lot of excitement about all the unknowns that the week holds for me. I really have no idea what to expect, so I'm praying for a teachable heart and the ability to focus on serving rather than worrying about how much I don't know. (Some non-humid weather and clouds would be nice, too, to keep my hair from exploding and my skin from frying...haha.) But seriously, I am so grateful that I was able to snatch up this opportunity that just kind of fell in my lap. And I'm so appreciative of all the friends and family who have donated to make this possible and are holding me and the whole retreat up in prayer. I know God will use this event to change not just me, but every person there - in ways I can't even imagine yet!

Mason Jar Soap Dispenser

Mason Jars are taking over the crafting world - and I can't say I've been immune. My number one goal in life is to have a collection of mason jars that I will use as drinking glasses to sip my lemonade from as I overlook the city in my loft apartment on Beacon Street...

My mom and I decided to make these soap dispensers out of mason jars. At an antique mall (favorite place ever!) we found a vintage mason jar. My dad, with his special tools again (who knows what!) cut a hole in the top of the lid. We took the pump out of a disposable soap container and glued it (with super glue - we used all kinds of adhesives before we found the one that worked best). I also made one to bring back with me to college. So crafty. So cute.

License Plate Bookends

I've gotten caught up in the Pinterest fad, but I actually make a lot of the things I see on Pinterest. Here's one of my favorites so far...and it was so simple! I wanted an easy way to keep my books staying upright when I go back to college in the fall. Using license plates was the perfect way to not only keep my books from falling all over, but also to show some hometown pride in my dorm room. Plus, these bookends aren't bulky, so I don't have to worry about taking up valuable shelf space.

I asked around for some old license plates. I ended up getting three pairs from a friend. If you don't have any generous friends, you can purchase license plates at any antique mall. The only step is to bend the plates. My dad did that for me with some handy tool, so quite honestly, I can't help you there. But I trust your ingenuity to figure out your own way. Here's the final product:

Summer Missions

This summer I have the unique and exciting opportunity to serve as a “Short Term Missionary” (STM) with the Joni & FriendsInternational Disability Center. Joni and Friends is an organization that seeks to answer the call in Luke 14: “invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed…make them come in so my house will be full.” They do this by evangelizing people affected by disabilities and their families; training, discipling, and mentoring people affected by disabilities; multiplying disability-effective churches; and promoting a biblical worldview on disability through education and policy.

From August 12 to 17, I will be serving at the Joni & Friends’ Family Retreat in Greenfield, NH. Family Retreats are nationally and internationally held retreats for families that live with disability. At these retreats, families receive encouragement and care in the comfort of a safe and accessible family camp environment. As an STM I will be paired one-on-one with a disabled child to assist him or her throughout the week, allowing the parents to attend seminars, hear biblical teaching, and enjoy time as a couple. With the child I will simply be a friend, giving the gift of my time and love while participating in the various camp activities with him or her.

I am craving your prayers as I prepare to serve as an STM and as I’m actually at the camp in the heart of my service. I would ask for you to pray that God would enable me with His strength and love to minister the Gospel of Christ effectively to the family and child I will be serving. Once I get to the retreat center, I will become part of a community of STMs and leaders, but I am going alone. Please pray that God would use me not only as an encouragement to the family I have the opportunity to serve, but also that He would use me in the community of strangers that I will be serving with – who will hopefully not be strangers by the end of the week. Most of all, I simply desire prayer for a teachable heart as I learn, first, the book facts about working with people with disabilities and then immediately put it into practice. I anticipate this as a challenging week, but a perfect opportunity to put Paul’s words in Philippians 2 into practice:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

Thank you!